I’m really so sad today.  I feel bad about writing only when I feel down but I find it so hard to tell others why.  Sometimes, I’m really jealous of people who can just blurt out their problems and feel so better right after.

Today, we had practice matches in the club.  Buchou paired us and had single matches for the three court, and I was against another freshman from Class A, Horito-san.  She’s really nice and loud and a bit aggressive, but she’s very good at tennis.  But still, I felt a bit confident because last Saturday’s practice with Ryoma-kun went so well.

To my surprise, the men’s tennis team were dismissed early, and I saw Momo-sempai with Ryoma-kun by the fences!  It felt really weird having them watching, and I could see Momo-sempai cheering for me and nudging Ryoma-kun, but I wanted to do my best.  Ryoma-kun even tipped his cap up and showed me the stance we were practicing.

BUT BUT BUT!!! MOUUUU!  I CAN’T BELIEVE IT, I DIDN’T EVEN SCORE ONE POINT!!

Not just that, after the match, I didn’t even shake Horito-san’s hand and just ran away!  It was so embarrassing, I felt like dying. T___T I bet Ryoma-kun, buchou and Horito-san are all disappointed with me, but I don’t have the strength to face them at all.

They kept their hopes up for me and I failed them.

Mou, I don’t know if I’ll be able to show my face to them again.